SBURB (Now with magic)
by TheTwoMind
Summary: Two extra players. Four extra players. A dogfather A father A story, book closed A story, reborn... A wizard, doomed to boredom A wizard, in a new world... Edgy thing Edgy words Edgy edgy I'm cool i swear.
1. I like this idea!

**AN: Hi! Unknownwolf gave me another story thingy! WOO! BTW It happens in homestuck time bits and the events of POA happened before the exams and stuff, like in February at the latest.**

A young boy sat in his room, his name was Harry Potter the Boy-Who-Lived… It was April, but he was at the Dursley house, since he had been sent home from Hogwarts early due to all the chaos… He turned to the computer he had been given, it wasn't the newest but it was pretty good, fairly new, up to date, actually worked since Dudley shoved it into his room and left without a word… It was better than the one in the cupboard anyway, that thing was a hunk of junk! He grinned, turning it on and preparing to go on the internet to check something.

 _Brrpt!_

Oh? it looked like one of his chums was pestering him!

{unknownWolf [UW] began pestering secretSlytherin [SS]}

UW: Hey Harry! *Smiles happily*

SS: Hey yourself

UW: So… Did it arrive?

SS: How should I know?  
SS: It'ss not like I wasss the one that paid for the sssssstupid thing ssssssssssssso that I could play it…

UW: Calm down

SS: Sorry  
SS: But Dudley's gotten his parents to let him play it.  
SS: Luckily they're out at the moment so if it gets here I'll know.

UW: Check your window?

SS: One sec then.

He looked away from his computer to check the window and… Hey! There was a box sitting near the front door! That's a really bad idea, how are you meant to know it's safe?

SS: A green box is at the door.

UW: That should be it! *Grins excitedly*

SS: Give me a minute to go grab it. Be right back.

He got up and quickly, but carefully, headed down the stairs, opening the door and getting the box quickly, and then going back up the stairs.

UW: Did you get it? *Very excited*

SS: I got the box. I haven't opened it yet.  
SS: Calm down for just a second will you?

UW: Ok…  
UW: I can't.

SS: That was a second I guesssssssssss

UW: You leaned on the S key again didn't you? *Gives a questioning glance*

SS: Shut up.  
SS: Shut up.  
SS: I'm opening the ssstupid box.

He grumbled as he fumbled on the edges of the box, finding it difficult to open until he found a convenient flap he could stick his finger in to open it… And presto! One open box! Inside was… Score! Just what he was hoping for!

SS: It's here!

UW: Yes!

SS: You got your copy yet?

UW: No.  
UW: Mom took it until after breakfast.  
UW: And sunrise.

SS: It's almost eight in the afternoon.

UW: Timezones Harry!  
UW: I live in Japan remember?

SS: I forget that sometimes.  
SS: What time is it for you?

UW: It's like… *Checks time* Three in the morning…?

SS: You forgot to sleep again didn't you?

UW: Maybe…

SS: Get some sleep  
SS: We'll play later

UW: Okay… *Yawns*  
UW: Later Harry…

SS: Later Che

UW: Oh! Before I go, you figured out your sylladex yet?

SS: Haven't had the time.

UW: Which one do you use?

SS: Map

UW: Oh  
UW: Why don't you try it out? And don't forget to set your specibus!

SS: My what?

UW: Ask TT

{unknownWolf [UW] ceased pestering secretSlytherin [SS]}

She was so mysterious… Nah, she was just adorkable. Now, how in the name of the founders did you set your specibus? And what in the name of Merlin's pants was a specibus? "Ugh… Lets think… My sylladex is meant to do… Something… I don't remember what, but the manual should!" He realised, grabbing it.

"Thank you for buying the map modus… Blah blah blah… Fully customizable… Whatever… Ah, here it is! To retrieve an item from the modus simply press your hand against it while wishing to retrieve it or think about it, note that the none-physical method requires mental strength as to not retrieve the wrong item…" He read, skimming through the manual, and then reading another bit.

"To store items simply touch whatever you wish to store to the map and it shall be stored inside of it. You can also simply wish to store it, which is much easier but more likely to put the item somewhere difficult to locate… Activation may vary based on modifications…" He nodded, before pulling out a map made of parchment, pressing his wand to it. " _Ego levavi manum meam ut Im 'non usque ad bona…_ " He hissed out, trying to cut off any hisses as he spoke the password in parseltongue, the language of the snakes… The map activated as soon as he said it, causing a map of the area to appear, a few little tabs with labels on them to other locations, there was also another tab that had a card on it, he pulled it to see a ton of empty cards, while at the same time a row of cards appeared at the bottom of his vision… "Weird…" He grabbed the manual with an idle hand, watching a copy of the manual appear in all of the cards on the row, he placed it on a card the map showed and blinked as the manual appeared in the first card on the left in his row, before he closed the map, rubbing his eyes. "Merlin's pants…" He muttered.

 _Brrpt!_

Another chum was pestering him?

{tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering secretSlytherin [SS]}

TT: Hello Harry.

SS: Hey.

TT: UK mentioned you didn't know what a specibus was

SS: I figured out my modus but I've got no clue what a specibus is

TT: It's your weapon of choice.  
TT: By the way, have you spoken to EB?

SS: No  
SS: Why?

TT: Check the day

SS: Oh!  
SS: It's his birthday isn't it?!

TT: Correct  
TT: You forgot didn't you?

SS: No!  
SS: Yessssssssssss

TT: Why not use a drone?

SS: Over the ocean?  
SS: I'll ask GG if she knows how I can get a present for him without having to wait for it to arrive, I don't want to take ages.

TT: She does know many things.

SS: Yeah  
SS: So how do I specibus?

TT: Do you have a weapon near you?

He frowned, looking at a crossbow Hagrid had made for him.

SS: I have a crossbow  
SS: Made by a friend

TT: That'll do  
TT: Captchalogue it.

SS: What?

TT: Store it

SS: Ah.

He grabbed the crossbow and put it into the map

SS: Now what?

TT: Now place it in your strife deck.

SS: my what?

TT: What modus do you use?

SS: Map

TT: Then trace a line from the card to the card that has smaller cards on the bottom.

SS: Oh. That

He did so, seeing the crossbow vanish.

TT: Did you do it?

SS: Yeah  
SS: It just vanished

TT: It's now in your strifedeck.  
TT: You're now the proud owner of crossbowkind

SS: Can I use another thing as well as crossbow?

TT: Yes  
TT: As a secondary weapon  
TT: Why?

SS: Just wondered.

He grinned, putting his wand into it, there was no way for him to lose it now!

TT: You just did something didn't you

SS: Yep

TT: Are you going to tell me what?

SS: Uhhhhno

TT: Alright.

SS: What did you guys get him?

TT: I'm still working on mine.  
TT: It's an old bunny I've had since I was a child  
TT: I've been patching it up since he got me that knitting set

SS: Dawwww

TT: What are you doing?

SS: It's adorable  
SS: It's like when a kid gives their younger sibling a toy they've treasured for years.

TT: Ok  
TT: That is nice

SS: What did TG get him?

TT: I believe he got him the bunny from Con air.

SS: That's pretty smart  
SS: Dorks obsessed with that movie

TT: GG's probably planning something.

SS: I guess, hey

TT: Yes?

SS: You mind if I go ask GG if she's got any ideas on how to ah…?

TT: Not at all Harry  
TT: I'll speak to you later, I hear you have the game?

SS: Yep.  
SS: I kinda promised I'd be UW's server player  
SS: Che's been really looking forwards to this

TT: Acceptable.  
TT: Until next time.

SS: Until next time.

{tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering secretSlytherin [SS]}

Harry quickly pestered another of his chums.

{secretSlytherin [SS] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG]}

SS: Hey

GG: Hi Harry!

SS: I need some help

GG: Yeah?

SS: EB.  
SS: Kinda forgot.

GG: You want to know how to get a present to him?

SS: Yeah.

GG: Do you have one?

Harry looked around the room, grabbing a stuffed owl toy and putting it in a box which he then wrapped and put a label on.

SS: Yep

GG: Ok, put it on your bed

SS: Ok…

He did so, unsure what she was planning until the box vanished with an –ify!

SS: Where did it go

GG: What?

SS: It jusssssssst vanisssssssssssssshed!

GG: Don't worry! It'll get too him soon!

GG: Bye!

SS: Bye

{secretSlytherin [SS] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG]}

He frowned, wondering where it had gone… Hopefully it was ok…

 **In another land…**

Hey, who's this?

 _ **Enter name**_

Your name is Chetari Sin. Sin is literally your last name. You're 13 years old and you live in Japan with your mother. You're what your friends call adorkable or a cinnamon roll, but you don't know what that means. You like to speak your first language when talking to people but you always end up speaking Japanese when you're alone.

 _ **Captchalogue pumpkin**_

Pumpkin? What pumpkin?! There's no pumpkin here! And you're not going to waste what precious little space you have left in your Sylladex! You're saving that for your friends birthday! Speaking of birthdays, the day, 13th of april, is the birthday of one friend of yours, you've already sent your present to him, it's a lovely gift, you made it yourself! You really hope he likes it, of course, you've already prepared for another friends birthday, one who you befriended at the same time as the rest of your online friends, Harry Potter, he was the only one that didn't find your name silly, which was really nice of him!

 _ **Talk to a friend.**_

No. you're going to bed, you haven't slept all night, luckily Harry reminded you. He's such a nice guy!


	2. CINNAMON ROLL IS LOST! I REPEAT! LOST!

**AN: I'm having fun writing this! Don't worry, TROLLS OR M4G1C? Is still gonna be continued. I'm just getting some chapters out while I can.**

Harry sat at his computer again, he wanted to check the order of who would help who in the game. He knew he was helping Chetari, and TT was going to help EB, but nothing else…

{secretSlytherin [SS] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]}

SS: Hey.

TT: Yes?

SS: I've been wondering.

TT: About?

SS: Server order.

TT: Ah  
TT: That makes sense

SS: All I know is I'm helping Che and you're helping EB

TT: Ok  
TT: Stop that

SS: Stop what?

TT: Using the letters

SS: You're doing it as well!

TT: Yes well it needs to stop.  
TT: We all know each other's names anyway

SS: Alright  
SS: Want me to mention it to the others?

TT: It would be appreciated.  
TT: Thank you Harry.

SS: No problem Rose.  
SS: So about the turn order?

TT: Much better  
TT: As you know I will be assisting John  
TT: Or EB as you seem to love calling him

SS: It's easier to remember the letters

TT: But it's annoying  
TT: And the others are doing it now

SS: Order?

TT: Right  
TT: John will be helping Jade  
TT: Jade will help Dave.  
TT: Dave shall then help you

SS: I help Che…

TT: And then she helps me.

SS: Got it.  
SS: Hey  
SS: Your game arrive yet?

TT: Yes actually  
TT: I've been searching for someone to play it with  
TT: Dave probably got his earlier but he's refusing to play

SS: John probably hasn't gotten his yet…

TT: And Chetari is…?

SS: Sleeping  
SS: She forgot to sleep again

TT: Ah.

SS: You asked Jade yet?  
SS: Maybe she can get Strider ready to play.  
SS: Once Che's awake we can get wait for John to get the game.

TT: …

SS: Rose?

TT: You mean to tell me that I waited for nothing?

SS: She doesn't even have the game yet.

TT: Ah  
TT: My apologies.

SS: I just figured she'd either get it when she needs it like she always does or she'd find a way to download it.  
SS: That and Dave likes messing with her.

TT: How would you know that?

SS: There's this memo feature I've been trying out.

TT: Memo?

SS: Came in the new update.

TT: Update?

SS: When did you last update Pesterchum?

TT: … Last year?

SS: Go check the main page  
SS: It's got an update.  
SS: Che and I assumed you guys just didn't see the memos.

TT: I'll go update it then.

SS: Try and tell the others as well.

TT: I will.

{secretSlytherin [SS] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]}

Harry rolled his eyes at the screen. Rose was an idiot sometimes, not always, just sometimes. But those times were amazing! No… Absolutely glorious!

 _Bdmpt_

Oh no… Not these guys again…

{terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling secretSlytherin [SS]}

TC: HeY tHeRe My BrOtHeR

SS: You again?  
SS: What isss it about me and my friendssssssss that makesssssssssss you keep bugging usssssssssssssssssssssss?

TC: WaTcH tHaT mOtHeRfUcKiNg S kEy My BrOtHeR

SS: No. It'ssssssss my key.  
SS: What do you even want?

TC: I'm JuSt HeRe To GiVe YoU sOmE hElPfUl AdViCe My BrOtHeR

SS: What advice?

TC: JuSt A lItTlE fAmIlY mEmEnTo I tHiNk YoU'lL lOvE

SS: Memento?

TC: ChEcK tHaT sToRaGe CuPbOaRd

SS: The one in my room?

TC: YuP

SS: Alright…

He did so, turning away from his computer for a moment to check it, finding a small photo that had been thrown into the corner… He pulled it out, it was completely covered in dust.

TC: WeLl?

SS: A dusty photo  
SS: How is this helpful?

TC: ChEcK iT mY bRoThEr

He frowned, cleaning it off and gasping as he saw it… It was a picture of Lily Potter… His mother…

TC: HoW's ThAt FoR a MoThErFuCkIn MoMeNtO?

SS: How did you know?

TC: I hAvE mY wAyS

SS: Do you even know what it is?

TC: My WaYs AiNt ThAt GoOd

SS: Well…  
SS: Thanks.  
SS: I guess…

TC: It'S nOtHiNg My BrOtHeR

{terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased trolling secretSlytherin [SS]}

Those weird… Ugh… Why did he keep calling him his brother? And that typing style… Bleh. He'd take anyone else's any day… At least he wasn't that bad, just a bit weird.

 _Bdmpt!_

Seriously?

{caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling secretSlytherin [SS}}

CA: stay awway from che

SS: What?  
SS: Why?

CA: don't question me  
CA: just stay awway from her

SS: I'm in a different country to her.

CA: stay awway from her

SS: Why?  
SS: Why do I need to "stay awway" from her?!

CA: don't mock me  
CA: you knoww wwhat i'm talkin about

SS: I really don't.

CA: …  
CA: howw many times havve wwe spoke?

SS: This is the second time…

CA: COD DAMNIT!  
CA: sorry  
CA: wwrong timestamp

SS: Oh.  
SS: More of those time travel stories…

CA: shut up  
CA: im sorry  
CA: you'vve done nothin wwrong  
CA: yet

SS: Alright…  
SS: And what do I do?

CA: can't say  
CA: sorry about that

SS: Just…  
SS: Did I hurt her?

CA: no  
CA: i don't think so

SS: Just… Go bug the "future" me then…

CA: i wwill

{caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling secretSlytherin [SS]}

A hoot came from behind him, coming from Hedwigs cage.

"I know… Those people are crazy, right?" He said to her, giving her an owl treat that she took quickly.

He smiled at her, looking at the time confused… "It's… Past midnight?" He scratched his head… Checking the previous log… Looks like there had been big gaps between the two talking… Weird, he didn't remember them…

 _Brpt!_

{unknownWolf [UW] began pestering secretSlytherin [SS]}

UW: Morning Harry!

SS: Morning… I think I lost track of time…

UW: Huh?  
UW: Oh!  
UW: It must be really late over there!

SS: Actually… I think it's John's birthday for him still, isn't it?

UW: Yeah I think so. He should be up now right?

SS: Probably…

UW: Wanna start playing?

SS: Let me tell Rose first.

UW: Kay!

{secretSlytherin [SS] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]}

SS: Hey.

TT: Yes?

SS: Che and I are gonna start playing now.

TT: John's just gotten his copy actually.

SS: So you're going to get him in first?

TT: Yes.  
TT: I shall set up his game for him  
TT: Jade is working on convincing dave

SS: Got it.  
SS: Later

{secretSlytherin [SS] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]}

SS: She's gonna get John sorted first

UW: Oh. How will we know then?

SS: She'll tell us.

UW: She just told me.

SS: Really?

UW: Yeah! It says she's set john up!

SS: It took less time than I thought…

UW: It…  
UW: It took half an hour

SS: Must be more tired than I thought…

UW: Ok… Anyway, Just set up the server right now.  
UW: I'm setting up both with my awesome laptop

SS: Alright…

UW: And… There! We're in!

He grinned as he messed around in the game a little, moving the mouse to an icon, a small missclick causing him to place a large machine in the corner by accident, nearly crushing a box.

SS: Ooops.

UW: What did you do?

SS: I nearly crushed a box with an…

He took a second to check what it was called

SS: Alchemiter.

He watched as Chetari checked the box. Taking a moment to look at his friend for the first time he felt a pain in his chest, tugging at something deep within him… Weird… He took a picture on his phone, which he had… Making a note to show the others it. She was such a cinnamon roll.

UW: You should be more careful! *Admonishing*

SS: What's in the box anyway?

That was the wrong question apparently, as she quickly captchalogued it, bright red.

UW: Don't talk about it.  
UW: It's private… *Doesn't want to talk about it*

SS: Alright… So… Want me to put one of this things in front of your mums door?

UW: No, she's out getting groceries right now.  
UW: Just set it somewhere clean.

SS: Living room alright?

UW: Sure

He set down the rest of the machines in the living room, watching her learn how everything worked…

Brrpt!

{ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering secretSlytherin [SS]}

EB: hey harry

SS: Hey John

EB: so you're playing with chetari?

SS: Yeah.  
SS: I'm her Server Player.  
SS: She's gonna be Rose's.

EB: yeah rose told me about the order

SS: It's still your birthday right?

EB: yeah  
EB: why?

SS: Just checking.  
SS: Having a good day?

EB: not really  
EB: dad has my server disk and what i assume is jades present in the car  
EB: by the way a little black box appeared on my desk with a stuffed owl.  
EB: it's currently sitting on my desk watching me type.  
EB: thanks

SS: Why are you thanking me?

EB: because you have an owl?  
EB: you told me remember?

SS: Oh yeah…  
SS: I forgot that.  
SS: You in the game yet?

EB: yeah  
EB: rose put my bathtub in the hallway though.  
EB: oh wait  
EB: she's back i gotta go  
EB: sorry!

[ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering secretSlytherin [SS]}

Harry looked back at his computer to see Chetari doing something, messing around with this thing called a cruxtruder apparently. She was trying to cut the lid off with a HUGE sword.

SS: Need a hand?

UW: It'd help

He used the curser to pull the blade down, managing to wedge it under the lid.

SS: Try levering it

He grinned as it came off, producing a cylinder of… Something… While she puzzled over it he looked around her house… And then… Oh.

SS: Chetari?

UW: Uh…  
UW: Yeah?

SS: Look outside.

UW: Why?

SS: JUST DO IT!

UW: O-Ok…

He felt bad for yelling, but he had to…

UW: Oh god oh god oh god!  
UW: Is that a meteor?

SS: Headed straight for your house

UW: There's a timer on the thing. It says twelve minutes.

SS: Maybe there's a way to stop it.

UW: Maybe…

SS: Try the…  
SS: Totem lathe.

UW: Huh?

SS: You have a totem.  
SS: Use it.  
SS: It might be our only shot.  
SS: And take this.

He used the mouse to drop a punched captcha card on top of the totem that sat in her hands.

UW: Alright…

He watched as she did, changing the shape of the totem with the punched card.

He left her for a moment, noticing a woman enter her house.

SS: There's a woman in the house.  
SS: That your mum?

UW: What does she look like?

SS: Eh… Tall.  
SS: Kinda like a jerk

UW: That's mom.

SS: What're you doing?

UW: I… Think I'm surviving.

SS: 6 minutes left.

He watched as she did things with the last machine… Creating a pair of crystally looking headphones, which flashed… Before a bright flash of flight flooded the screen… When it was gone the screen was black… Chetari was gone…


	3. CINNAROLL IS FOUND! I REPEAT! FOUND!

**AN: Hi! I took a quick break on my birthday, I figured I deserved it, and I didn't have any time to write… DISCLAIMER: Chetari belongs to Unknownwolf, not me, I didn't make the cinnamon roll.**

Chetari opened her eyes with a groan, a weird orb floating around her, ' _kernalsprite…_ ' She remembered, having prototyped it with her Zoroark plush toy, that thing was awesome… She watched as it split in two, an orb that looked like the kernelsprite, or a kernel, appearing and cloning itself, shooting up through the roof and down through the floor, leaving the sprite half behind… She looked at it curiously, before looking out of the window to see what looked like tree roots growing on the walls, looking down it appeared she was in a giant tree, with its roots stopping the house from falling into the darkness below… Look at it… It's endless… She tore her eyes away from the darkness, remembering that her mom was in the house, and going to see if she was alright…

"Mom?" She called out, getting no response… " **That's not good…** " She muttered in Japanese, not even thinking.

 _Bdmpt!_

Oh great, those guys again…

{caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling unknownWolf [UW]}

CA: get up  
CA: you'vve got wwork to do

UW: Work?  
UW: I'm in a tree!

CA: and?  
CA: you havve wwork to do  
CA: go do it

UW: What work?!  
UW: I'm in the middle of nowhere!

CA: roots and death

UW: What?

CA: you're in the land of roots and death

UW: What's that?

CA: your land

UW: Land?

CA: didn't your sprite explain?

UW: What are you talking about?

CA: chuck somethin in it

She glanced around, looking at a box that held her pet cats ashes, before carefully putting them into the Zoroarksprite…

CA: noww ask it to explain  
CA: and then get to wwork

{caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling unknownWolf [UW]}

She turned back to her sprite, before jerking back, seeing that it had changed.

Rikiarksprite stared right at her, with a smile that was just nightmare fuel, or would be if it wasn't for the face making it look ridiculous…

 **Somewhere else**

A boy listened to his nanna's ghost talk to him, in the land of wind and shade…

 **Somewhere else**

A boy mourned the loss of his owl, holding a shard of a meteor in his hands… At number 4, privet drive…

 **Focus**

Harry looked at the black screen shocked, giving a sigh of relief when it focused…

CRASH! The whole house shook, harry rushing to the window, seeing a meteor hit a house nearby and wincing, that was Mrs Figgs house… Another meteor landed a few houses away, a fragment flying towards him, he ducked… The fragment breaking through the window… And into Hedwig's chest, who froze, and then went limp on the bottom of her cage… The shard embedded in the wall…

"H-Hedwig?" He whispered horrified, pulling the shard out and staring in shock at his owl… Crying…

 _Brrpt!_

{tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering secretSlytherin [SS]}

TT: Not that I wish to alarm you  
TT: But we have a problem

SS: My owl is dead Rose…  
SS: I'm not in the mood to talk…

TT: Your owl?  
TT: Hedwig, correct?

SS: Yeah…

TT: How did she die?

SS: Meteors are landing around me, a fragment went through her chest…

TT: Have you set up the client disk yet?

SS: I did it while I was letting Che mess around…  
SS: Why?

TT: Dave's ready.  
TT: A meteor will hit your house soon, I'll instruct you on your phone.

He turned his phone on, still crying on turned Pesterchum on so that he could be instructed.

SS: Ok…

TT: Dave has been told what to do already, so he'll just place down the required items for you.

SS: Got it…

He sniffed, rubbing his eyes, and letting the game start.

The curser quickly placed down the machines, throwing things around a little, making a mess.

TT: First, open the cruxtruder.

SS: That'll make the orb thing and give me the dowel, I already helped Chetari get that done.

TT: You'll know to prototype then.

SS: What?

TT: Throw something into the kernalsprite once it's released.

He managed to open it, the 'kernalsprite' appearing along with a dowel.

SS: Like what?

TT: Your owl for example  
TT: It will bring her back.

As soon as he read that he was gently placing his dead owl's body into it, causing her face to appear on the orb.

SS: It didn't work…

TT: You need to continue first  
TT: Get the dowel turned into a totem.

He fumbled around the the totem lathe, turning it into a totem, and then with the alchemiter he created what seemed to be a glowing crystal pillow

SS: What now?

TT: I…  
TT: Assume you use it as a pillow?

SS: Sseriousssly?

TT: Just try lying on it.

He did so, as the timer reached zero…

 **In the distant future… (But not far)**

An Erroneous Blaggard wandered the wastelands hungrily… Food had to be somewhere… Anywhere... It just wasn't here…

 **With Harry**

Harry opened his eyes, seeing the kernalsprite split from the sprite half, doubling and shooting upwards, while the other kernel went downwards… Leaving only the sprite…

TT: Well?

SS: I'm in…

He took a moment to look at the sprite, it now looked much more like Hedwig… But silent, thinking…

TT: You should add something else.  
TT: Best to prototype it again so you don't accidently fall into it.

He looked around, picking up the picture of lily potter… Wondering what it would do…

SS: What…  
SS: what would a picture do?

TT: Is it of a person?

SS: My mum.

TT: Ah, then it should prototype your mother into the sprite.

He put the photo back, considering it… Never noticing the dog clinging to the windowsill, which then dropped into the long grass holding the house and the earth that had followed it, its black coat hidden by the blades of grass…


	4. Alchemy is dumb THIS PUMPKIN!

**AN: Hi**

Harry gave a sigh, making a decision… He would prototype it, later though. He needed a minute to get adjusted…

 _Bdmpt!_

{carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling secretSlytherin [SS]}

CG: HEY  
CG: GET TO WORK DUMBASS

SS: Who are you and why are you doing this strange thing?

CG: JUST GET TO WORK

SS: Well, what work?  
SS: Also, the one with the weird text mentioned something about blackrom or something?

CG: DO YOU WANT ME TO EXPLAIN IT?

SS: Nah.  
SS: Aren't you meant to be going backwards?

CG: YOU LITERALLY JUST SAID YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHO I AM

SS: I didn't.

CG: YES YOU DID!  
CG: LOOK!  
CG: IT'S RIGHT THERE!

SS: And?  
SS: I remembered  
SS: So please just remind me why you aren't going backwards?

CG: THAT'S WITH JOHN  
CG: I'M GOING LINEAR WITH EVERYONE ELSE, BESIDES, ONCE I REACH A CERTAIN POINT WITH JOHN I'M GOING TO GO TO AFTER MY FIRST CONVERSATION WITH HIM.

SS: Oh, that makes sense.  
SS: So, what do I need to do?

CG: PROTOTYPE

SS: Doing that later, I just need a few minutes to think.

CG: ALRIGHT.  
CG: BUT ONCE YOU'VE DONE THAT YOU NEED TO GET ALCHEMISING SOME GEAR, MAYBE SOME OUTFITS, JUST GOOF OFF A BIT.  
CG: THEN GO EXPLORE, GO FIND OUT WHAT YOUR POWERS ARE, DO SOME QUESTS, TYPICAL GAMING STUFF I GUESS.

SS: Alright  
SS: What do you mean by powers?

CG: UH…  
CG: IT'S KINDA COMPLICATED?  
CG: LET ME THINK FOR A SECOND…  
CG: YOU'RE A DOOM PLAYER  
CG: IT'S RELATED TO MISERY, DEATH, THAT KIND OF THING.  
CG: YOUR CLASS SHOULD INFLUENCE YOUR ABILITIES  
CG: I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS THOUGH.  
CG: IF YOU WANT I CAN GO NON LINEAR AND ASK FUTURE YOU

SS: Sure

CG: GIMME A SEC

Harry looked away bored as he waited, taking a look at the thick blades of grass. "You could weaponised this stuff…" He mused.

CG: YOU'RE A MAGE.  
CG: ODDLY ENOUGH YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE, NOT SAYING WHO THOUGH

SS: That weird?

CG: SO FAR I'VE ONLY SEEN ONE OF EACH  
CG: SO YEAH  
CG: AT LEAST FOR ME

SS: Alright then…  
SS: What does that actually mean?

CG: LOOK  
CG: I DON'T KNOW  
CG: I'M JUST TELLING YOU TO GET TO DOING STUFF.  
CG: SEE YOU LATER THEN.

SS: See ya.

{carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling secretSlytherin [SS]}

Harry got up, getting over to the alchemiter, fiddling around with the cards and just making some dumb stuff.

Glasses && I-Phone = I-Specs

I-Specs && Rubber ball = Rubber I-Specs

Crossbow bolt && potions textbook = Effect bolts

Effect bolts && wizard hat = Bolt holder hat

Harry grinned under his new specs, his Bolt holder hat holding his effect bolts, THE HAT WAS COMPLETELY USELESS! He chucked the hat into his sylladex just to be safe though. He turned to his wardrobe, his grin getting wider… IT WAS TIME FOR A FASHION MONTAGE!

Wizard robes && skittles = Dumbledore's robes?

Summer outfit && Charms textbook = Casual mage outfit

Casual Mage outfit && Potions textbook = Casual alchemist outfit

Yeah this was fun. Now he didn't have to think when he needed to use a quick spell or two, but only basic ones… And Snape wouldn't be able to get angry, if he ever saw Snape again… Probably not… Well it'd be helpful anyway! In his distraction he knocked the photo into the sprite, prototyping it for the second time…

He continued to mess around a little bit more, combining a box of random tools with a crossbow bolt.

Tools && crossbow bolt = Handyman bolt

So much fun...

 _Brrpt!_

{turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering secretSlytherin [SS]}

TG: hey man  
TG: having fun playing in magic fairy land or something

SS: No, I'm having fun making stupid crap.  
SS: Like a hat that holds crossbow bolts, COMPLETELY USELESS!

TG: dude  
TG: thats awesome

SS: You in yet?

TG: nah  
TG: just watching the world burn around me while i wait for an egg to hatch  
TG: and the egg was stolen by a seppucrow

SS: Do I want to know what that means?

TG: probably not

SS: I feel like I do.

TG: launched a shitty katana out my window along with a crow and my game  
TG: using bros copy to play and all that  
TG: fun

SS: Your abusive brother?

TG: he is not abusive  
TG: sure movies taught me what the fridge was for  
TG: doesnt mean fucking shit

SS: Said the cool-kid to the abused boy  
SS: I know what it's like  
SS: Thinking it's normal…  
SS: Took two bloody years away from them to realise it wasn't right

TG: its not like that man

SS: No, I meant bloody like…  
SS: A britishism.

TG: ah  
TG: he just likes training thats all  
TG: gotta transcend irony after all

SS: Ironic  
SS: The irony master can't tell he's played for a fool…

TG: what  
TG: what are you talking about?

SS: Want me to say it in a way you'll understand?

TG: depends  
TG: rap i assume

SS: No…  
SS: Simply this  
SS: What classifies abuse?

TG: lack of care towards the child  
TG: physical harm  
TG: improper living conditions

SS: How many do you fit?

TG: …  
TG: …  
TG: …  
TG: were done talking

{turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering secretSlytherin [SS]}

Harry rolled his eyes under his Rubber I-Specs, checking Chetari's game for a second… Looked like she wasn't there…

{secretSlytherin [SS] began pestering unknownWolf [UW]}

SS: Chetari?  
SS: You there?

UW: Yeah!  
UW: Sorry, I was playing with the alchemy, and then I got bored and walked off to explore…  
UW: You in?

SS: Yeah…  
SS: Hedwig's in my sprite now…

UW: Hedwig?  
UW: Did she…?

SS: Yeah, sshe died…  
SS: Ssso I put her in…  
SS: What'ssss your land like?

UW: It's…  
UW: It's a tree.  
UW: I think  
UW: The house is on a tree, I don't know what else there is… I think I can see some buildings on a branch though.

SS: You're Norse?

UW: No!  
UW: But that's a good point…  
UW: How do you spell the tree's name?

SS: Yggdrasil?

UW: That's what I'm gonna call this place…  
UW: I mean, it's called the land of roots and death, but Yggdrasil is a cooler name.

SS: It really is. So where are you on the tree?

UW: I think I'm near the bottom?

SS: So be a kid.

UW: Oh I'm gonna  
UW: I'm gonna climb, climb and climb some more!  
UW: Once I get some rope.

SS: I have a crossbow bolt, and I think some rope, I could combine them and send you the code.

UW: You can do that?

SS: I assumed that's what the codes for.

UW: Oh.  
UW: That makes sense!

SS: Want me to do that then?

UW: Can't  
UW: I use bladekind…

SS: Isn't that what Dave uses?

UW: Yeah but mines a proper katana  
UW: Not one of those rubbish ones that Dave has

SS: Ah, so you're going Japanese style?

UW: Yep!  
UW: Gonna see if I can fight Dave!

SS: The kid who's abusive brother trained to flash step?

UW: Well…  
UW: Yeah...  
UW: I'll cheat.

SS: Use irony  
SS: Transcend his understanding of it

UW: I'll be sure to try that!  
UW: What's your land thing like?

SS: So far it's just grass…  
SS: I don't know what it's called.  
SS: But it looks kinda peaceful…

UW: Well I'm gonna go see if I can make something that lets me do parkour  
UW: Maybe learn to traverse this tree

SS: I think there's a manual for that in my house  
SS: I'll send you the code later.  
SS: Just combine it with an outfit or item you can wear. Then boom, parkour master.

UW: I'd rather not rely on items…

SS: Combine it with a liquid, drinkable parkour.

UW: Alright…  
UW: That'll work!  
UW: See you later!

SS: See you Che

[secretSlytherin [SS] ceased pestering unknownWolf [UW]}

 _ **Be Chetari, be the tomb raider.**_

There are no tombs to raid. And you use the bladekind specibus so guns would be useless. Besides… You need to focus!

 _ **Dodge pumpkin!**_

Pumpkin? What pumpki-

THUNK

 **In the distant future… (But not far)**

An Erroneous Blaggard meets a Forgotten Gleam… Time for breakfast.

 _ **Blaggard, eat pumpkin**_

Pumpkin? What pumpkin? If you had a pumpkin you'd have eaten it by now! Besides, this lovely gleam has some cans of food! You have a trusty tool you made with a Wayward vagabond once, poor guys probably dead… Anyway you're perfectly equipped to make a fire, and open some cans to eat! Mm… Food…

 _ **Gleam, wear a silly hat**_

You're already wearing a silly hat, you got it from a nice mendicant who decided to go be a mailwoman, it's nice and warm… And now you have someone that can open your cans! Mm… Food…


	5. Who's that?

**AN: Hiiii!**

Harry frowned as he looked at a strange screen he'd found… Five sphere's… Floating in space, with a gap for another one…

 _Brrpt!_

{turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering secretSlytherin [SS]}

TG: im going back

SS: Ssseriousssly?  
SS: You're certain?

TG: were doomed anyway  
TG: cant win with a dead heir and witch

SS: We don't know that Jade's deda.  
SS: Dead, even…

TG: we havent heard from her in months  
TG: four months weve spent  
TG: four months getting strong  
TG: four months wasted

SS: You sssure it isssn't the ssssssprite?

TG: that as well  
TG: ive already told rose

SS: Do me a favour?

TG: what

SS: Come over to my land  
SS: I wanna give you something

TG: what something

SS: Not to give to past you, or to john or jade or anything.  
SS: To you.  
SS: David Elizabeth Strider, who I'm talking to right now.

TG: alright man  
TG: didnt have to bust out the middle name though

SS: It'ssss the only way to make you lissssssten

TG: fair enough man  
TG: alright ill head to your place and then ill head back to fix this mess

SS: See you on the flipside.

[turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering secretSlytherin [SS]}

{secretSlytherin [SS] began pestering unknownWolf [UW]}

SS: Chetari?

UW: hey harry  
UW: whats up

SS: Dave's heading back…  
SS: He's gonna fix this.

UW: is rose planning anything?

SS: Probably.  
SS: I'm gonna see if I can send my dream self through  
SS: Doom powers should be helpful there

UW: i wont remember will i?

SS: Probably not  
SS: If you don't, I'll try and be the one to wake you up

UW: thanks  
UW: i want my arm back as well

SS: I know  
SS: I missssss your arm as well

UW: is this goodbye then?

SS: No  
SS: Goodbyes are what you say when you won't see each other again  
SS: And Harry Potter will see Chetari Sin again.

UW: i meant for these versions of us

SS: In all honesty?  
SS: Probably

UW: bye then

SS: Bye Chetari

{secretSlytherin [SS] ceased pestering unknownWolf [UW]}

Harry sighed, pushing his hair out his face and grabbing some stuff, which he put next to him, waiting for the only other sane member of the group to arrive… And then he was there.

"Hey Dave." He greeted, heading over to him.

"was gonna say bye to everyone anyway so you just helped me out by telling chetari yknow" Dave said calmly.

Harry rolled his eyes, passing the items he had gathered to dave, putting them in coloured boxes. "I figured I'd colour code them. Red's for past you, pink is for rose, green's for jade, blue for john, black for me, the one with glitter is Chetari's." He said, letting Dave take them.

"whats with the glitter" He asked, amused.

"I ran out of coloured boxes so I used a white one and a shit ton of glitter." He explained, giving a grin.

"alright then" Dave grinned back at him. "so i thought you had something for me" He inquired, captchaloguing all of the boxes.

"I did, I just decided to get those dealt with." Harry agreed, passing him a pendant, it had a picture in that that was taken a month previously, two months after John's death and Jade's disappearance… Chetari had managed a real smile for the picture, as had everyone else. "We're probably going to ssstop exissssssting once you head back, sssssssssso I figured you'd want sssssssssssomething asssssssss a memento." He could see water behind Dave's shades, was he… Crying?

"t-thanks man…" Dave whispered, his voice wobbling a little.

"Oh come here you!" Harry decided, pulling the cool-kid into a hug. Once the hug was over he clapped Dave on the shoulder. "Now go fix this mess!" He ordered, getting a grin from Dave before he vanished, Harry quickly falling into a deep sleep… Until he wasn't.

 **Three months ago**

Harry looked at his rubber I-specs, trying to talk John out of heading to the gate, he was using a memo as well…

EB: look, all i've got to do is go through the gate and stuff'll happen  
EB: it'll be fun!

SS: John think for a second

TG: yeah man  
TG: why would you fight someone super powerful right now  
TG: sounds like a trap

EB: oh hah hah  
EB: very funny dave!  
EB: using two computers is sooo original!

TG: dude thats not me

EB: the orange text is a nice touch though.

Harry tried to focus on the words… His eyes growing heavier… THUMP!

 **Somewhere…**

Harry woke up… He was wearing purple pyjamas, they were quite comfortable actually… He got up, leaving the orb he had been sleeping in and floating past another orb, where two kids he assumed to be Dave and Rose were messing around… His head hurt… And then… He remembered… CHETARI! He shot off into space, searching for that golden planet… There. He shot towards it, finding a golden orb that he entered, to find her sleeping… Wearing golden pyjamas as well…

He floated closer, shaking her arm… "Chetari, wake up." He hissed, trying to get her to awake…

"Huh…?" Chetari yawned as she slowly awoke, taking in her new environment, and then got tacklehugged by Harry. "Harry!?" She exclaimed in shock, not prepared for this sort of situation.

"Brainhurtyoulostanarmtimelineresetjohndiedjadediedtrollsvanisheditwasbad!" He blurted out, trying to focus and slot his new memories into place.

"Harry, calm down" Chetari told him, taking the role of the calm one for the moment.

After a few minutes he was calm enough to explain what had happened.

"One of the trolls… They tricked John into fighting his denizen early… He died… Jade died as well… At least, she went missing, same with the trolls, they went silent… You fell, got into a fight with your Denizen and escaped by losing an arm… Apparently one of the trolls had been talking to you, and then stopped, distracting you long enough to get hurt. Then… Dave, Dave decided to go back. This was after… I don't know… He told everyone… I told you, gave him some stuff… Then he went back…" He explained. "I need to get back. WAKE UP!" He shouted, somehow scaring her into sleep… Before he shot off back to the purple orb… Derse, that's what it was called!

 _ **Chetari, WAKE UP!**_

You snap your eyes open to find your still falling… Ugh…

 _Brrpt!_

{gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering unknownWolf [UW]}

GG: hi chetari!

UW: Hey Jade!

GG: guess what!

UW: What?

GG: i should be in soon!  
GG: i just need to hit my entry item and i'll be fine!

UW: That's great!  
UW: How long should that be?

GG: five minutes?  
GG: it should be soon anyway!

[gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering unknownWolf [UW]}

 _ **Harry, wait.**_

You wait for something to happen… You run gristTorrent so that everyone's on equal grounds… Wait, that's odd… There's a sixth set now! Jade must have entered!

 _ **Harry, fall.**_

Fall? Why would you f-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

 **Earth**

One by one, as the last meteor hit… The horcruxes were destroyed… Leaving only one…

 **Land of Grass and Deception…**

Harry hit the floor hard… He had fell out of the window.

" _Harry Potter…_ " A voice whispered, as black goo oozed from his scar, a black smoke forming in front of him. " _How I have waited for this day…_ " It continued. " _No more protection… No more Dumbledore… Once I get rid of you… I will rule… The reign of the dark lord Voldemort shall continue…_ " The voice told him, as the figure formed into a pale man, without a nose or hair… A wand held in his bony fingers.

Harry forced himself onto his feet… Couldn't get to his modus… No weapons… He ran, he ran through the grass, cutting himself on the sharp edges…. But he ran…

 **? Later**

He didn't know how long it had been… He was still running… He was almost out of breath… He was sitting on what looked like a bed, trying to catch his breath…

" _A sitting duck!_ " The voice, Voldemort, hissed, catching him off guard… And then, " _AVADA KEDAVRA!_ " A flash of green… Death… The boy-who-lived lay on the bed… Dead.

 _ **Harry, Ascend.**_

Harry opened his eyes, glowing, wearing those pyjamas again… He floated upwards, appearing on his planet in a flash of light… His clothes changed… He was wearing green… A costume of some kind… Couldn't focus… Clothes were replaced by something… Scales? Heat… Voldemort was gone...

 _ **TC, watch the miracle.**_

You watch as your brother performs a miracle, transforming into a scalebeast and breathing fire on the strange thing attacking him. What a magical miracle…

 _ **Harry, sleep…**_

You turn back to normal, not that you realise… And fall asleep…

 _ **S3rk3t, f1nd 4 fr31nd…**_

You are now #ra#ea Serket… You were wandering through the #r#a# 8u#8les as always… But… "What are you?"


	6. That's who and Chetari's still falling?

**AN: Hi. So… Since I've kinda been skating over most of Homestuck, I've realised I might actually finish this story! How's that for a shock?! If I do then I'll just make a sequel, maybe some omakes or an entirely new story.**

"What are you?"

Harry opened his eyes with a groan, opening them to find a girl standing over him… But she looked strange… She had white eyes, with no iris or pupils, her skin was grey… And… Was that candy corn on her head and shaped like horns? He blinked a few times, the image he saw not changing.

"Excuse me? Can you hear me?" The girl asked, looking confused.

"Where… Where am I?" He asked, noting he was being sort of rude.

"Well that answers that… You're in the dream 8u88les, did you die or something? And what are you?" The girl asked him.

"Dream bubbles? I… I'm alive, I just… I'm alive… Yes, I'm alive…" He muttered, trying to think. "I… What do you mean by what am i?" He asked her, getting his head straight.

"You don't look like any species I've ever seen." She explained as he sat up slowly.

"I'm a human… What's a dream bubble anyway? And what are you?" He told her, asking questions he found important.

"Never heard of a human… I'm a troll, and a dream bubble is basically the afterlife. I'm guessing you played SGRUB?"

"SBURB, but yes… I've seen trolls, but they're dumb, massive brutes with clubs… And no horn thingies." He told her.

"Huh… Weird. Anyway, do you have a name?" She asked him, deciding she'd have to look around the bubbles a little more for some information.

"Y-Yeah… I'm Harry, Harry Potter." He introduced.

"Huh… How do you spell that? The first name I mean." The girl asked curiously.

"Uh… H, A, R, R, Y?" He said confused.

"Weird, it's only got five letters… I guess humans don't do that then… I'm Aranea Serket." She pondered, before remembering to introducing herself.

"Aranea? Like… Araneus? It means spider." He noted.

"Huh… Never thought of it like that… What's a spider?" She mused, then realised she didn't know what that was.

"It's like a…"

 **? Hours later**

Harry wandered through the bubble with Aranea, talking about bits and pieces of whatever they felt like.

"Ah, Aranea, there you are. I've been l99king f9r y9u. I w9uld like t9 ask y9u a69ut the intricacies 9f cerulean privileges." A troll said, walking up to Aranea and not noticing Harry, interrupting their conversation.

"May8e later Kankri, I'm sort of talking to an entirely new species." Aranea apologised, trying to get out of the newly formed conversation.

"9h?" The troll finally noticed Harry. "H9w rude 9f me t9 n9t n9tice y9u. I am Kankri Vantas, that is my name and pers9nal identity, d9es y9ur race p9ssess pers9nal identities?" The troll, Kankri, apparently, introduced himself.

"Yessss…" Harry said, a little creeped out. "I'm Harry Potter. It's nice to meet you." He extended his hand for a handshake, deciding he needed to at least be polite, getting one back in return.

"I'll have t9 remem6er t9 give y9u s9me 9f my intr9duct9ry sheets at s9me p9int." Kankri decided. "Well it was nice to meet a new species 6ut I really must be 9ff. Perhaps Cr9nus w9uld 6e willing t9 explain m9re…" He said as he walked off.

"So… Is that, uh, normal?" Harry asked Aranea as Kankri walked out of sight.

"Yes, I've actually 8een gathering information on them all, if you want I could tell you it and explain the 8its you don't understand." She offered.

"Sure, it'd be nice to learn more about you and your friends." He decided.

"Alright then… The Seer of 8lood played quite a different role on our team from that of his successor, though his potential as a 8lood player went similarly unrealized. It was only when he grew up on Alternia did he 8egin to tap into his a8ilities, triggering recollection of our lives on 8eforus, and what we all went through. He remem8ered our more peaceful way of life, and his desire to unite people. As an adult he was a8le to do this much more effectively and maturely. Heroically, even. He learned how to inspire others, and 8e a true leader, even when the odds were stacked against him in his violent culture. It cost him his life, 8ut his message lived on. I 8elieve the Knight of 8lood now carries his 8urden, whether he has decided to accept it or not. Many of us on Alternia grew up to 8ecome secret followers of his teachings. Just as many of us now follow them, though I'd say with a 8it more detachment. 8ecause we're dead! Speaking personally, I'd refer to myself as more of a "fan" of his story, and what it represents. 8oth the hidden potential in our friend he never quite found, and the hidden potential in all our people. During our session, Kankri's trials as a leader were just as frustrating as those of his successor. He found it very hard to get others to take him seriously. While Meenah would often try to divide us with her trou8lemaking, and turn us against each other to make us stronger - unsuccessfully I might add - he would try to unite us through proselytizing and lecture, just as unsuccessfully." She told him, trying not to rant.

"Ok… But… Who's the knight of blood?" He asked confused.

"I… Huh… I actually don't know… I think I saw a version of him once? I don't really remem8er…" She muttered embarrassed.

"Ok then." He shrugged.

"I'll have to see if anyone knows…" Aranea muttered, lost in her thoughts…

Harry looked at his hands as he noticed they were turning see through. "Uh… Aranea?" He asked worried.

"Huh? I think you're waking up!" Aranea exclaimed, before he vanished from the bubbles… "I didn't even get to say good8ye…" She grumbled annoyed…

 **Land of Grass and Deception**

Harry woke up, yawning as he did so… And then turned to see his own dead body… Wearing his alchemised clothes… And the glasses were showing he was being pestered… Carefully, he put them on…

{twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling secretSlytherin [SS]}

TA: hey  
TA: you there?  
TA: ii 2pent tiime on thii2 you know

SS: Who are you?  
SS: And what do you want?

TA: fiinally…  
TA: iim 2ollux

SS: Are the two's meant to represent a lisp or…?

TA: ye2

SS: Alright…  
SS: Like a th sound, or like a hiss?

TA: liike a th 2ound  
TA: why?

SS: Just wondered  
SS: And why are you bugging me?

TA: heard you a2cended two god tiier  
TA: we got the 2ame cla22pect a2 well

SS: Classpect?

TA: tiitle of a2pect

SS: Oh.  
SS: So…  
SS: What does that have to do with anything?

TA: ii diidn't a2cend  
TA: wondered what your power2 would be

SS: So far I don't know.  
SS: I'll try and tell you if I learn more

TA: not 2ure how thatll work but 2ure

[twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling secretSlytherin [SS]}

Harry threw away the glasses that had come with his new outfit, quickly putting his rubber I-specs on instead. "Right, first off… Tell someone about this." He decided, floating upwards, taking a few minutes to learn how to fly.

 **Few minutes later**

Harry floated around his land, looking at the grass from above… Looking for anything interesting other than that bed… In his distraction he missed a small village, instead opting to return to the house…

 _ **Chetari, land**_

You can't land yet… There's still a long way to go… At least you have someone to talk to.

CA: wwhat do you think i should do

UW: Weeeell…  
UW: Ok, just making sure I got this right.  
UW: You have red feelings?  
UW: For this girl.  
UW: Red is romance right?

CA: yes to both

UW: Ok.  
UW: But she doesn't feel that way for you  
UW: But she does for one of the other players in your session?

CA: yes

UW: Ok…  
UW: Why her?

CA: she  
CA: uh  
CA: i don't knoww

UW: Why don't you think on it for a bit?

CA: i wwill

UW: And then I'll tell you what I think you could do.

CA: alright


	7. He's such an idiot STOP BREAKING THIS!

**AN: Hey guys! So… Uh… I don't know what I'm doing, I just opened this and started writing… If you read this, well, I'll have written something!**

 _ **Harry, talk to Jade**_

After a bit of sitting around doing nothing, you decide to talk to Jade. You're not sure why, but maybe she has something for you to do.

{secretSlytherin [SS] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG]}

SS: Hey Jade.

GG: hi harry! ! !  
GG: whats up?

SS: Just a bit bored  
SS: Need help with anything?  
SS: At all?  
SS: Please  
SS: I'm going to go inssssane

GG: well  
GG: maybe you could do your quest?  
GG: or you could go see how the others are doing  
GG: that stuff

SS: Quesssst?

GG: yeah! ! !  
GG: the personal quest you go on  
GG: it usually involves your denizen

SS: Denizen?

GG: its like…  
GG: whats your browser?

SS: …  
SS: What?

GG: your browser

SS: It's…  
SS: Moros  
SS: Why?

GG: then thats your denizen

SS: Why?

GG: thats how it works silly

SS: Alright then…  
SS: How am I meant to figure out my quest?

GG: just find your consorts  
GG: good luck! ! !

SS: Thanks.

{secretSlytherin [SS] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG]}

 _ **Be the other guy**_

You attempt to be the other guy, but he's so undeniably cool and sick that you're rejected for the sudden intrusion, why not be someone else?

 _ **Be someone else**_

You are now TheTwoh343223fr23e31s

 _ **Uhh…**_

Great job, you crashed the story. Great job, I hope you're happy. Just… Give me a second… There, go be Chetari while I fix Harry's segment…

 _ **Be Chetari**_

You're now Chetari, you're still falling… But… You might be able to see something... Below you…?

 _ **Chetari, brace for impact**_

You look carefully, is… Is that the ground?

 _ **Chetari! Brace for impact!**_

You quickly prepare to land…

 _ **Chetari, Land**_

You finally land, on… Scales? That's not right… You look up, to find a face staring at you, you're on some kind of tail… This… Can't be good…

 _ **Wait, who's this?!**_

You're now the Faithfull general, you're facing your long-time rival, the Entrancing Braggard… You aren't really enemies with him, but you have to fight since you're on different sides. Ah well, you take a look around the battlefield, as it has now reached its true form, it's astonishing…

 _ **Be the other guy**_

No, you're not, you're staying as you. Huh? What's that?

 _ **Look at the problem**_

You both turn and watch a combined army of Dersite and Prospitian soldiers become slaughtered by the Derse Archagent, who appears to be prototyped… How is this happening?!

 _ **Run!**_

The two of you turn to each other, sharing a single thought, it's time to get out of there! You both run away from the agent, diving into a nearby river and getting carried away by it…

 _ **Harry, get pestered by your chum**_

You are now Harry, I finally got his story working again, jerk…

 _Brrpt!_

Huh? Oh! You're being pestered! You were just about to go try and do your quest, but… You guess you have the time to do this.

[ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering secretSlytherin [SS]}

EB: hey harry!

SS: Hey John, ssssup?

EB: uh...  
EB: you ok?

SS: I'm fine.  
SS: Why?

EB: you hissed

SS: Well I was just murdered by the guy who killed my parents and somehow came back in a new body, with some new clothes.  
SS: I have the right to be angry.

EB: huh?  
EB: wait  
EB: you went god tier too?

SS: I think?  
SS: It's all kinda…  
SS: I don't know, I went god tier…  
SS: Yeah, yeah I did.  
SS: When did you?

EB: earlier  
EB: vriska put me to sleep  
EB: then i got killed by this dude and woke up as god tier  
EB: oh!  
EB: did you know you and chetari are siblings?

SS: Sssseriously?!

EB: yeah!

SS: How do you know thissss?

EB: well  
EB: i was at this lab place  
EB: and then there was this console  
EB: i messed with it a little and ended up creating six kids  
EB: then the dna of those kids fused into six more kids

SS: Huh…  
SS: Weird…

EB: i thought that'd be cool for you to know.

SS: It issss  
SS: Now uh…  
SS: I'm gonna go explore my planet a bit.

EB: see ya!

{ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering secretSlytherin [SS]}

Harry grinned, he had a sister… Huh… Neat.

After that incredible discovery, he took off to explore his land, looking for something.

 **Land of Roots and Death**

Chetari stared as the roots of the tree released the rest of her land, including her quest bed… Somehow she had skipped her entire quest, which involved going up the tree and down the middle, purely because she had been hit with a gourd… Ok then! " **Why is this world so weird?** " She asked herself, meaning she spoke in Japanese…

She looked around for a few minutes before wandering, trying to figure out what exactly to do, since she had accidentally completed her quest…

 **Land of Grass and Deception**

Harry flew around, getting the hang of the basics for his powers as he did, he could turn into any magical or non-magical creature, including a few he didn't recognise… Like a weird white crab monster think that just went SKREEE all the time, which was admittedly kinda funny… Wait… Didn't Aranea mention them to him once? Lusus or something like that? He could turn into an alien parent. Awesome!

 _Bdmpt!_

{terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling secretSlytherin [SS]}

TC: HeY tHeRe My MoThErFuCkInG bRoThEr

SS: …  
SS: What do you want?

TC: I wAs JuSt ChEcKiNg Up On YoUr MoThErFuCkInG pRoGrEsS

SS: I'm…  
SS: I'm fine.  
SS: And why do you keep calling me your brother?

TC: I bE fEeLiNg ThIs MoThErFuCkInG SpIrItUaL cOnNeCtIoN wItH yOu

SS: …  
SS: Fine…  
SS: We're…  
SS: "Bro's"  
SS: Admittedly it's kind of alright…  
SS: Even if it's going to ruin my thinkpan.

TC: HoW dO yOu KnOw WhAt A mOtHeRfUcKiN tHiNkPaN iS?

SS: Wait, you know what that is?

TC: Of CoUrSe

SS: …  
SS: You're an actual troll…  
SS: Aren't you?

TC: HeLl FuCkIn YeAh BrOtHeR

SS: Oh my god…  
SS: How did I not even realise?  
SS: I'm such an idiot…

TC: I hAvE nO fUcKiNg IdEa WhAtS gOiN oN.


	8. He'll be fiiiine

**AN: So! Harry's finally realised he's been talking to actual trolls, then again, since its TC of all people it makes sense… And Harry definitely isn't the brightest… So yeah, he can be forgiven for taking so long I think.**

Harry face-palmed at the realisation… He was talking to the session after Aranea's… He was such an idiot…

TC: YoU sTiLl ThErE bRoThEr?

SS: Yeah, I'm ssssstill here…  
SS: Jussssssst feel like an idiot.

TC: GoT yA bRoThEr

SS: I…  
SS: I need to go think  
SS: And alsssssso I'm ssssssssstill trying to get usssssed to everything

TC: SeE yOu LaTeR bRoThEr

{terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased trolling secretSlytherin [SS]}

Harry shook his head, landing to get his bearings, he had been flying while talking to TC, so he didn't know where he was.

"Letssss sssssssseeeeeee… Lake… Grassssssssss… Wait, why am I hissssssssssing?!" He stopped looking around, feeling around his mouth for the reason he was hissing… Nothing… Odd… "Well, it'ssss probably nothing." He decided, walking around for a while, just barely missing a figure that looked just like him, but older…

 _ **Chetari, ascend**_

Ascend? What does that mean? You've found the bed thingy anyway, so that's nice…

 _ **Jack, show her your stabs**_

You're now Jack Noir, or, Bec Noir? Damn dog instincts… Eh, power is better anyway. You silently unsheathe the blade from your chest and teleport behind her…

 _ **Harry, protect your sister**_

You get a sudden feeling of worry, shooting off instinctively to go find Chetari on her land… You must have transformed at some point, because you just broke the sound barrier… What even are you? No time to think… HURRY!

 **Chetari, turn around**

You turn around, to find a midnight black figure with some kinda harlequin outfit torn around the neck, with wings, a dog head… A sword… I-Is that Zoroark fur?! And owl talons… It's looking at you, murder in it's eyes… Wait, eye, one of them is cut…

 _ **Jack, introduce yourself quick.**_

You quickly introduce yourself to her with your sword, a couple times…

 _ **Harry, introduce yourself to Jack**_

You enter Chetari's planet, finding her lying on a bed, with multiple stab wounds… With some… Thing! Standing over her… You quickly land behind the thing, transforming on instinct into the crab monster lusus thing… "SKEEEEEEEE!"

 _ **Jack, introduce yourself to the crab thing**_

You quickly attempt to introduce yourself, but the thing catches your blade, throwing it to the side, you quickly retrieve it thanks to your stupid dog instincts…

 _ **Harry, play fetch**_

You watch the thing act like a dog with the blade… That gives you an idea… Your brain suddenly brings up a memory… Fred and George talking about a thing called a Pygmy puff… You jump away from the thing and quickly become one… Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow!

 _ **Jack, GET THE BALL!**_

You try to resist your instincts but they're too strong, you chase after the ball quickly, only for the ball to become a kid who quickly throws a new ball into the air, you chase it…

 _ **Harry, get to Chetari**_

You quickly go back to Chetari… She's dying…

 _ **Chetari, Ascend**_

Your body slowly rises into the air…

 _ **Chetari, Ascend…**_

Your body on Prospit gets closer and closer to the ground…

 _ **Chetari, ASCEND!**_

Your dream self's eyes snap open, shooting out of your room and away from the crashing moon… Your clothes change, you look like a mage or something… And your clothes are grey… Neat… You quickly find yourself on your land, with no memory of how you got there… Weird…

 **In the distant future… (but not far)**

The Erroneous Blaggard and Forgotten Gleam made their way towards a machine, pressing buttons like idiots… And… They were somewhere else now…

 _ **CA, watch Ascension…**_

You watch Chetari die… You… HATE THAT IDIOT! You hate him so much, that you're going to tell him to stay away from her! You can't let it stand!

{caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling secretSlytherin [SS}}

CA: stay awway from che

SS: What?  
SS: Why?

CA: don't question me  
CA: just stay awway from her

SS: I'm in a different country to her.

CA: stay awway from her

SS: Why?  
SS: Why do I need to "stay awway" from her?!

CA: don't mock me  
CA: you knoww wwhat i'm talkin about

SS: I really don't.

CA: …  
CA: howw many times havve wwe spoke?

SS: This is the second time…

CA: COD DAMNIT!  
CA: sorry  
CA: wwrong timestamp

SS: Oh.  
SS: More of those time travel stories…

CA: shut up  
CA: im sorry  
CA: you'vve done nothin wwrong  
CA: yet

SS: Alright…  
SS: And what do I do?

CA: can't say  
CA: sorry about that

SS: Just…  
SS: Did I hurt her?

CA: no  
CA: i don't think so

SS: Just… Go bug the "future" me then…

CA: i wwill

{caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling secretSlytherin [SS]}

You are such an idiot… You got the wrong timestamp… Damnit! Ugh… Let's try that again…

{caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling secretSlytherin [SS]}

CA: stay awway from che

SS: Finally…  
SS: Eridan, right?

CA: …  
CA: wwhat?

SS: Sssssorry  
SS: You're on time, but Chetari told me your name.  
SS: Ssssshe'ssss fine now.  
SS: Sssso yeah

CA: …  
CA: this is because i got it wwrong earlier didn't i?

SS: Hell yessssssss

CA: wwell then

SS: Oh  
SS: Before you go  
SS: Mind doing me a lemon and getting GC to talk to me?

CA: do you a wwhat?!

SS: Favour

CA: oh  
CA: sure

{caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling secretSlytherin [SS]}

You turn away from your computer for a moment, turning to one of the others in the room.

"hey ter" You call out.

"WH4T?"

"one of the humans wwants to talk to you"

"WH1CH ON3?"

"secretslytherin"

"F1N3, 1'LL T4LK TO H1M…"

 **Land of Roots and Death**

Harry grinned as he and Chetari practiced their powers.

"Pika! Pika!" Chetari shouted as she bounced up and down in the form of a pikachu.

Harry transformed into a thunderbird, something he only knew about thanks to his powers.

"Mew! Mew mew mew!" Chetari switched to a mew, before returning to normal. "O-Ok… Lets stop… That hurts my brain…" She begged, holding her head.

"Fine." Harry agreed with a shrug.

"Thanks…"

…

"Hey do you think I could turn into you?"

"Don't you dare!"

"OH MY BACK!"

"I SAID NOT TOO!"


	9. I've lost control of my writing ability

**AN: Remember this? I do! Oh, and if you notice certain symbols are missing from typing quirks, I can't fix that. The greater than and less than symbols don't seem to like working.**

Uh… Wait. Where's… Well, it appears we've skipped a large chunk of story… So… I guess I'll let you read ahead a bit while I work on finding the missing chunk! We'll come back to this later.

A young man, stands in his room, it just so happens that today, the 11th of November, 2011, is the date scheduled for the launch of a highly exclusive playtesting experience for a much anticipated game. Unfortunately, he is not able to play, due to many reasons, but he is expecting to receive an email of the game in a few hours from a resourceful friend. What's his name?

 _ **Enter name**_

You cannot enter his name! It was already engraved in his HONORARY PLACRONYM on his 13th birthday, which was about three years ago, and has been sitting here neatly on the bookshelf ever since. Attempting to engrave it with another name after completing this sacred rite of passage is practically unheard of, and is a gesture nearly as offensive as it would be if you tried to name him something hilariously insulting like Dogstink Gnawleg. Luckily, he is easily amused and will let the name slide, because he finds it hilarious.

 _ **Examine Room**_

Your name is Sirius. Your room is pretty lame. The walls are a dirty black colour that you've covered up with many posters of attractive women. Your MOTHER doesn't exactly care for them, but she also doesn't care for anything you enjoy! Your tag is unassumingWolfhound and you speak in a cheery and fairly average way, except for when you're being flirty, in which case you add a teasing tilde on the end of your sentences~.

 _ **Retrieve arms**_

You pick up your WAND and equip it to your WANDKIND Specibus.

 _Brrpt!_

Huh? Oh! One of your chums is pestering you it seems like.

{golgothasTerror [GT] began pestering unassumingWolfhound [UH]}

GT: Sirius  
GT: I've been wanting to talk with you about something if that is alright with you

UW: Sure!  
UW: So what did you want?

GT: Well its about TT  
GT: More specifically  
GT: His darn autoresponder  
GT: I can never tell if its him or not or if hes left in the middle of our pleasant chats  
GT: Suffice to say i am not pleased with his actions as of late

UW: I love the way you talk.

GT: What do you mean?  
GT: This is simply the english language!

UW: Yeah, back in the 50's!

GT: So it is not used anymore?  
GT: Is that what you are saying?

UW: Exactly!  
UW: What do you think Gay means?

GT: It means having a jolly good time of course!

UW: Not anymore.  
UW: It's when two blokes are romantically interested in each other.

GT: Oh!  
GT: Odd!  
GT: I might have to see what else in my vocabulary is out of date!

UW: You go do that.  
UW: Go have a gay old time

GT: Are you using my own vocabulary against me?

UW: Yes.

GT: Alright then.  
GT: I just wanted to be certain.

{golgothasTerror [GT] stopped pestering unassumingWolfhound [UW]}

Well, that was fu-

Okay, fixed the story. We'll come back to this point later so don't worry.

 **Land of Roots and Death**

Having discovered that Harry could not in fact turn into Chetari, but instead become a female version of himself for a few moments, followed by pain, the two were now talking about John's discovery of Siblingtude.

"So we're siblings?" Chetari questioned, a smile on her face.

"Looks like it." Harry agreed, a similar smile also on his face.

"Awesome!" Chetari cheered happily.

Harry checked Pesterchum with his rubber I-Specs, looking for any pestering…

 _Bdmpt_

"There we go." He muttered to himself.

"What are you talking about?" Chetari asked confused.

"Asked Eridan to get GC to talk to me about something I was wondering about." Harry explained.

"Oh! Alright! You go do that then, I'll just go wait in my house." Chetari told him, flying off before he could respond.

{gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling secretSlytherin [SS]}

GC: 4PP4R3NTLY YOU W4NT3D TO T4LK TO M3?

SS: Yep.  
SS: About a few things actually.

GC: L1K3?

SS: You killed ssssssssome of my friendsssssssss with that little act you tried to pull

GC: 4CT?

SS: Getting John to fight hissssssssss denizen early

GC: OH!  
GC: TH4T…  
GC: 4T TH3 T1M3 1T M4D3 S3NS3 TO M3.  
GC: 1T W4S TH3 B3ST W4Y TO PROC3D3.  
GC: 1 D1DN'T R34L1ZE BUT 1 W4SN'T M3SS1NG W1TH TH3 T1M3L1N3 4T 4LL!  
GC: 1 W4S C4US1NG TH3 3V3NTS TH4T C4US3D TH3 T1M3L1N3 TO PROC3D3

SS: Alright  
SS: But you still killed him

GC: 1 KNOW… :(

SS: Look, I know you're trolls, I get that you're all fucked up in the head!  
SS: But you're also messing with every part of our lives and you haven't explained why.

GC: HOW DO YOU KNOW TH4T?

SS: Weird dream bubble things that I think might be an afterlife or something.

GC: W3LL WH4T DO YOU W4NT M3 TO DO 4BOUT TH4T?  
GC: 1'M NOT TH3 L34D3R

SS: Who is?

GC: K4RK4T.

SS: …?

GC: CG.

SS: Huh.  
SS: Shouty's leader?

GC: Y3P!

SS: Huh…

 _ **GA, contact UW**_

You have been watching the humans for a while now, mostly conversing with a select few, but after observing one of them, you decide you wish to converse with her.

{grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling unknownWolf [UW]}

GA: Hello

UW: Uh…  
UW: Hi?

GA: I Understand That You Are Not Accustomed To Troll Mannerisms But I Have Been Wanting To Converse With You For A While

UW: Okay then.

GA: Thank You

UW: What's your name?

GA: My Name Is Kanaya

UW: I'm Chetari!  
UW: Nice to meet you Kanaya!

GA: Nice To Meet You Too Chetari  
GA: I Have Noticed That Your Lusus Has Gone Missing

UW: Lusus?

GA: I Believe The Human Word For It Is Guardian

UW: Oh!  
UW: Yeah my mom's gone missing…  
UW: I hope she's okay…

GA: If You Wish I Could Assist You In Attempting To Locate Her

UW: Please!  
UW: I'm really worried about her!

GA: Very Well Chetari  
GA: We Shall Attempt To Locate Your Mother


End file.
